Category Archives: Late Night Reflection

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Never Alone

Bismillah (in the name of Allah…)

In the last post I said I’d fix up the post in which I struggled to be genuine, but my heart is still not in it so I’m going to keep it a draft until I am inspired to finish it. Instead, I will write about something which has kick-started my 2 AM train of thought:

Could it be? That’s right, folks, this yellow man has not yet gone down to the city of Atlantis and I’ve decided to honor his memory here. I expect many of you are reminiscing about the good ol’ days of AIM (some 5-10 years ago,) but I need you to snap out of it because I’m not here just to talk about AIM or G-chat, but rather what they stand for. Quick fun fact though – earlier this year AOL flirted with shutting AIM down, but instead decided on just firing some people.

Anyway, how did this come up? The other night I was alone at my apartment in DC, which is currently without internet and with very shoddy 4G coverage. I was wide awake, just hitting my 2 AM second wind when I started feeling like Macauley Culkin in Home Alone when he wakes up really sad the second day because his family still isn’t home. As I struggled to get my now 3G operating phone onto google talk to make sure other insomniacs were still stirring, I thought about how with the internet/a smartphone/Facebook updates, you’re never really alone.

Yeah, globalization is making everything and everyone more connected, but it isn’t until now that I’ve thought about how I unconsciously use social networking to stave off loneliness. Even if I’m not talking to anyone, just having the green symbol that lets me know other people are awake is comforting enough. I’ve never been on Facebook when no one else has been on (the fewest I’ve seen is maybe 4,) but I think being the only person online would be rock bottom. I guess Myspace users know what that’s like (zing!) It really makes me wonder what people used to do back in the old days. Alhamdulillah (all thanks and praise are due to God) I have always lived with people and I don’t know what it’s like solo for an extended period, but I imagine I’d be even more tightly glued to any form of social media.

Looking back now, I have always had some form of chat window that served as my connection to other sentient life still stirring after the sun went down. In middle/high school it was AIM (much like a first relationship – I learned the game from it and though I’ve moved on, it will still always have a special place in my heart) and before that I slept early and didn’t prefer digital conversations to hanging with my family. For the spiritual crowd, we can also say that we are never really alone as some of the names/attributes of God in Islam are: Al-Wasi’ (The Vast, Omnipresent,) As-Sami’ (The All-Hearing,) Al-Baseer (The All-Seeing,) you get the point… But even still, sometimes you need the human element and now I know that thanks to Al Gore (sike, there’s no way he “invented” the internet) a bunch of pixels and a keyboard suffices.

Happy [digital] Reflecting,

Naj

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Being Genuine

Bismillah (in the name of Allah…)

I haven’t posted anything in a couple of days and seeing as my days aren’t that busy (my average summer wake-up time is like 1:30 PM, and that’s being generous) I feel as though there must be something else behind my lack of production. Truth be told, I have been trying to get something out, but after reading what I wrote, I absolutely hated it. I tried editing and re-editing, but there was a fundamental flaw. In English class I was taught to edit in the order of content, style, then grammar (because fixing grammar will never make up for sub-par content,) but trying to change the content and style didn’t help fix the post. So I sat and thought about why what I wrote sucked, and then I realized that though I was saying what I wanted in the way that I wanted (with reasonable grammar), I wasn’t doing so for the right reason. I had lost my sense of purpose, so in a way I had to edit my intention (Muslims you know you love that word.)

God-willing that post will come after this one when I’m satisfied with it, but I thought I’d share some insight on what writing that post made me think about (some crude form of self-metablogging.) Or for you pop-culture fans, a bit of blogception. In the about section (gotta love shameless promoting), I talk a bit about how writers have to have a feel of context, audience, and purpose, but only 3 blog posts in and I feel like I am failing on knowing my purpose. And I think that you, my dear readers, are the cause of my folly (just kidding, but no really though…bear with me here.)

After writing the first two posts, I got a lot of positive feedback Alhamdullilah (all thanks and praise be to God) and I was feeling really good about myself. I expected like 50 views max, but since wordpress.com (shameless promoting again, what up!) does a really good job of tracking views per day per country (it’s insane, I really do recommend wordpress,) I could see that within 1 day I had over 300 views! I was pumped until I realized that someone who clicked on the home page, then about, then home page counts as 3 views. Nonetheless, I still felt proud of myself and I got a little self-conscious, or really self-conscious about the blog.

So that brings us back to me hating my writing. With a little taste of solid readership (you lovely people) I was trying really hard to impress who I thought would be reading, instead of staying true to what I wanted to say. So that is why I am writing this post. As a reminder to you, Naj (that’s the endearing way I address myself in emails, but more on that later,) to be genuine. Especially because when you aren’t genuine, it really shows in your writing.

Happy [genuine] Reflecting,

Naj

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Why the Nighttime?

Bismillah (in the name of Allah)…

How I Met your Mother fans might recall a season 1 episode in which Ted Mosby (the protagonist) tells his kids what his mom used to tell him, that “nothing good happens after 2 AM.” Though I’ve oft been compared to Ted by my college roommates (henceforth known by their proper name – the stupid trust) and I even played him in a UMD Pakistani Students Association video, I’m going to have to disagree with you Ted, ol’ boy. Sure people generally do stupider things late at night, but if my last 2 semesters of all-nighters have taught me anything – it’s that the nighttime is the right time.

There’s just something special about the very early morning. As my fellow procrastinators know, it’s capable of everything from the most dire sense of urgency to the highest clarity of thought, but there is also an unparalleled peace to post-2 AM. Maybe it’s knowing that everyone else is asleep, or maybe it’s something else… It is narrated in a hadith qudsi (sacred hadith – a narration of Prophet Muhammad [pbuh] that is said to be the direct word of God):

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

“Our Lord (glorified and exalted be He) descends each night to the earth’s sky when there remains the final third of the night, and He says: ‘Who is saying a prayer to Me that I may answer it? Who is asking something of Me that I may give it him? Who is asking forgiveness of Me that I may forgive him?'”

So late night can be the holiest of times as well, but that’s not all. There’s a famous saying – I live for the nights I can’t remember with the people I’ll never forget (I’m pretty sure Drake isn’t the original author.) I’m also fairly certain this has to do with being inebriated beyond consciousness, but I think I agree. Relax, people. I’m not promoting blacking yourself out, (side note – if any of you fellow non-drinkers wonder what being drunk is like – this study found that “24 hours without sleep or a week of sleeping four or five hours a night induces an impairment equivalent to a blood alcohol level of .1%.”) but I still think there is something profound about that often-overused Facebook photo album title.

I’m sure we can all recall a time where we’ve had a very deep conversation after dark (take a second, think back to your moonlit walks, campfires, late night g-chats…) Those conversations aren’t possible in the day – everyone stops censoring themselves as much as the day wears on so the night becomes more real, more natural. In the end, we might not always remember what we said or what we did on those special nights (even if alcohol wasn’t a factor,) but the night allowed us to share those legen- wait for it- dary moments with the unforgettable people in our lives.

Happy [nighttime] Reflecting

Naj

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Digital Diary

Bismillah (in the name of Allah)…

I’ve often wanted to start a diary, but somewhere between addressing letters to my dear diary and scribbling meaningful moments to myself, I gleaned that it just wasn’t for me. I wanted more than that. So I decided to start this blog, a kind of digital diary, where I reflect out loud and hopefully it stirs some reflection in you. And worst case scenario, if no one reads it at least I have a nice, organized set of thoughts, rather than them just floating in my brain without them ever meeting a paper.

There is a longer explanation of this blog in the about section, so here I will start giving some food for thought. As you probably already know, I am Muslim and if you didn’t know then I’m sure how I started this post was a clue. Religion plays a big role in my life, but I’m not here to preach (maybe some other time…;)) I will, however, frequently draw from what I’ve learned from Islam and I sincerely believe that it can benefit everyone, Muslim or not. If not from the teaching itself, then maybe just from a different perspective.

Anywho, if you scroll down to the bottom of the page on the right you will see this verse from the Qu’ran also, but what better place to introduce it than my very own, first ever blog post:

“Say: Are the blind and the seeing one alike? Do you not then reflect? [6:50]”

The metaphor talks about the difference between the blind and the seeing, but then immediately asks if we reflect. We, the seeing, have not only been given vision Alhamdullilah (all thanks and praise are due to Allah), but we have been given our intellects. That intellectual capacity separates us from the blind, but what use is it if we don’t reflect on the things around us?

Rather than drone on anymore (I’m doing this for you guys, I love the sound of my own voice… er writing) I’ll throw in a quote from a classic. A wise man named Ferris Bueller once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Happy reflecting,

Naj